Spread The Sin

It has been more than a year since I have made a mark here.

And for some totally frustrating reason, the same seems to be true of the rest of my life. Its been such a downward spiral since 2003 and it has now come to this today. Here I return, wounded maimed and devastated... from my statistical physics exam. Of course, not that this is any culmination of my degeneration... life is too bitchy to give you the finality of climaxes.

It seems like the last time I ever engaged in any study, was before I got into college. The last 5 semesters in IITM have been in preparing for exams rather than any studies. I have slowly and severely become an inveterate bum! The lack of motivation is so weird... I don't know what I'm missing. (Right now its just sleep because of the mega-cram session that exams now bring)

There have of course, been some high points - my paid summer in Germany. That was a mini-ambition of mine: to get to Europe (or abroad) before I cross my teenage, and I was 19 when I accomplished it. So really in the nick of time. And that has actually only led to more distraction for it has shown clearly how much I love to travel. So now I spend a lot of bench-time voyaging in my dreams.

Also, I met Iris in Germany. She is thin yet well-endowed, with a real gleam in her eye. It was in this electronics store and I had been eyeing her for many days, and one day I finally got her to go out with me. We clicked right away, and have been clicking ever since. She's living with me currently and is my passion. It's a lot of fun with her - we go out together, travel about and like to see things. Sometimes, I really open her up and see into her... but she tires rather quickly and there's always the wonderful period of rest as she gets charged up again. Another distraction this...

Oh, by the way, Iris is a camera. :-) An Olympus c765 uz. We have put up some of our stuff on Morguefile.

Its my mom's birthday today and I just spoke to her. She is of course all courage and go-get-em, but I know that there's something missing. Or so I'd like to think. It has always been since that fateful 30th of december 2002 when I made her (not my mom) cry. And others too. Things have not been the same since... happiness not what it could be, and pain what it shouldn't be.

If it weren't for the all the irresponsible fun I am having, I'd say life's a bitch. :-) Go figure that out... I'm off to get some shut-eye.

This little confessional sure helps. Helps spread the sin, don't it?